Fragile Future *shadowpook and I*

"But I just lay there and let him" said Lilly miserably "And noone at chool will go near me if they ever found out, I'm useless now..."

"Your not useless! and of course you let jhim! what could you do? die? taht is never an option."

"Noone will ant me after this" said Lilly "I'm 'Damaged goods' as they say!"

"Oh, get of your high horse." said Charlie, but it was gentle. "I lived with a whore of a mother, i was born when my parents werent married. I lost my virginity at teh age of 7, and have had sex with so many people taht i cant count them all. i've been a prostitute and i ived on teh street. yet i have Gerard. And look at SHayne. Agin, prostitute, he's gay, a druggie, moans ALOT, yet he found Ray. You'll find your guy, and he'll love you. He wont care what happened to you, because he will think your beautiful. All he would care about is how upset you got afterwards. Any one hwo say's that you area damaged goods have terhe head so far up tehre arse taht they dont see what a terrible thing this is o thappen to some one. and tehy dont deserve you."

Lilly toom a minute to take all that in "But I feel so..."

"Unworthy? dirty? used?"

"Filthy, disgusting"

"you know how you treated Shayne? for being a prostitute? tahts exactl how he felt. Every day. And whats worse is people were having a go at him for something he couldnt help. he had to do this or be killed by teh people he had taken drugs off."

"I-I never realised" said Lilly, staring at the floor.

Charlie nodded. "I know. But just like you know your going to get bullied for something you had no control over, SHayne gets bullied for something her couldnt help either. Being gay. Then he gets stabbed, and so does the guy he loves. How bad you feel rigth now? Shayne feels taht every day, and he has to do many people a night. Plus, he's hurt other people. Shaynes life is pretty shit. ANd then even his owns sister starts up, adn his father.And yet, he still cares. As much as Shaynes personality bugs me, he's a pret cool person to go through all that and still be alive."

Lilly looked down "I feel horrible now" she mumbled "I-I ust alays trusted what dad said, about evrything. Being gay's wrong, abortion's murder, all that stuff. If I'd knonthis as ho Shayne felt" she uried er head in her arms.

"Hey, its okay. He understands. AT least you know that now."

Lilly sniffed "W-What if I did get pregnant?"

"It takes three days at least for that to happen, adn we'll find you a morning after pill by then."

"the egg fertilizes within inutes" recited Lilly "So, techiniccly, it' already alive if it's happened, I can;tkill it"

"Yes, but first the little guys have to get there, adn then the egg has to emplant itself in teh womb wall. Three days."

She shook her head "It CAN take up to three days, it can alsotake about to hours, I have to tet before I do anything"

Charlie went into teh draws and rummaged around a little. SHe came back with a pregnancy test.

Lilly bit her lip.

"I'll leave teh room if you want me to."

Lilly nodded.

"i'll be right out side." said Charlie. She left teh room and leaned aainst teh wall outside. SH eleant her head back and closed her eyes, a single tear escaping

Lilly waited fifteen minutes as it sinstructed then let out a sob.

Charlie wiped ehr cheeks and came in when she heard lily sob. "Lily? whats wrong?"

Lilly was shaking when she showed her the test. Positive.